Normally, when one begins a journey of faith, there are countless insights and revelations that are enjoyed. Various aspects of the life of faith come alive and understanding of the many mysteries in life is received. This gift of spiritual insight and understanding is a great gift and guide as one begins to walk down the path God has chosen. But as time goes on and a soul enters deeply into the mysteries of faith, a certain obscurity can begin to set in. If this is caused by sin or by a spiritual sloth, it should be remedied through Confession and a new resolve to seek the Lord. But this experience can also be the result of a deepening of one’s faith. There comes a time when God’s communication is one of darkness and obscurity. The soul begins to understand that it cannot understand. This is a gift in that the deeper mysteries of faith cannot be communicated through a concept or insight. The deepest communications from our Lord must be communicated through a darkening of the mind. Knowledge becomes dark, yet the certainty of God’s voice remains (See Diary #1205).
Reflect upon your interior life of prayer. If you do not clearly have an “interior life,” then it’s time to start. Seek our Lord through meditation and conversation and allow Him to speak to you. If you do have an interior life of prayer and God is regularly present to you, seek to go deeper. And as you seek more, do not be afraid if you begin to sense that meditation and conversation give way to greater silence and obscurity in your soul. This may be a sign that God is speaking to you on a new level. Speak to a priest about this experience and remain faithful to our Lord in every way as He draws you more deeply into a new level of prayer.
Lord, I desire to be drawn in deeply to the silence and obscurity of a life of faith. Help me to commune with You on this deepest level and to be transformed in the depths of my soul. Jesus, I trust in You.
Novena to Saint Monica